you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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