you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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