She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Barsexuality is the new black.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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