Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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