I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
