look no pants
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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