come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
