We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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