That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
