I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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