I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
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