Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Everyone says I win the strip club
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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