hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
