3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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