I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
