i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
