i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
