ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
did you just send me my own nude
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
