so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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