My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
