is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
