Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
