So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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