Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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