Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
We need to rekindle our bromance
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
