Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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