So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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