it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
