Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
