i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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