If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
