would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
