Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
