margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize