Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
