Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
