He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
