Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Bring me that man meat
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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