I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
