what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
