You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
