I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize