I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
