You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
