Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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