I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
