She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Drunk is a universal language darling
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