There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
