There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
accomplished twins. life is a go
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
