from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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