so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
