Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
