i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
