White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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