my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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