Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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