HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
