He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
