Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
ok first of all what the fuck
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
