So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize