your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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