i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
