Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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