I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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