I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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