is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
