his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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