Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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