Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize