come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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