Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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