I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Plan B is the new Plan A
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
